Nerdy jokes. What’s not to like? They’re funny, informational and they can make you feel smart — if you understand them.
So, sit tight and get ready to be a-moosed because we’ve compiled some of the most popular intellectual jokes from the internet, with topics ranging from science to arts and the in-betweens.
#1. What did the cell say to his sister?
In biology, mitosis is a cell cycle when duplicated chromosomes are divided into two nuclei.
Mitosis is pronounced as “my-to-sis” which sounds like “my-toe-sis”!
#2. A photon checks into a hotel
In physics, a photon is a type of elementary particle and is sometimes referred as a “quantum” of electromagnetic energy. It is basically what makes up light. Hence the joke, travelling light. Meanwhile the phrase “travelling light” also means to travel without any luggage.
#3. Two chemists walk into a bar
The chemical formula for water is written as “H20”. When the first scientist mentioned that he would like H20, he was hoping for the second chemist to say, “Can I have a glass of H20 too?” This would sound like he’s asking for “H202”, which is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, a deadly liquid. But instead, the second chemist said “water” and foiled the murder attempt.
#4. The 1023MB Band
Megabytes (MB) and gigabytes (GB) are units to measure computer processor storage. As we know, 1024MB makes up 1GB of storage. Meanwhile, “gig” in the music field means a live performance by a musician or band.
1023MB is insufficient to form 1GB (pronounced as one gig). Hence, the band 1023MB does not have any gigs yet.
#5. What happens when helium walks into a bar
In chemistry, helium is classified as a noble gas and it does not have any reactions when mixed with other elements.
When the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here”, helium did not get angry as he cannot react.
#6. Part of a solution
A precipitate is solid that is formed in a liquid solution after a chemical reaction has taken place. This is funny as people expect to hear the word “problem” at the end of this common phrase but it is replaced with “precipitate” instead.
#7. C, E-flat and G walk into a bar
If you are familiar with musical notes, C, E♭ and G are the notes that make up a C-minor chord.
#8. Knock, knock
In a regular “Knock knock” joke, one would ask “Xx who” after the question “Who’s there?” However, in a grammatically accurate sentence, you should say “To whom” and not “To who”.
#9. Silver and gold walk into a bar
In chemistry, the symbol for gold in the periodic table is Au (A-U). Gold leaves the bar as he heard the bartender saying “A-U, get outta here!”
#10. A Roman walks into a bar
In Latin, the suffix “us” refers to a singular noun while the suffix “i” is plural. So, the Roman thought that the word “martini” implied he was ordering more than one drink!
#11. Absolute zero
Absolute zero is the lowest and coldest possible temperature agreed by scientists. It is defined as 0 K on the Kelvin Scale (a thermodynamic temperature scale). So the man who was cooled to absolute zero has a reading of 0K which could be read as “OK”.
#12. Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide-and-seek
Pascal (Pa) is a unit used to measure pressure. One pascal equals to one newton (N) of force applied over an area of one square meter (1 Pa = 1 N/m2). Hence, when Einstein found Newton in the one square metre box, he actually found Pascal!
#13. A classics professor goes to a tailor
Classics students should get this. To understand the joke, you must pronounce the words “Euripide” (an Athenian playwright) and “Eumenides” (third part of a Greek tragedy) as “you-rip-a-these” and “you-mend-a-these”. It is funny as they sound as if they are saying, “You ripped these?” and “You mend these?”
Puns are a form of wordplay that has multiple meaning. They are meant to be funny and not to be taken literally. Kleptomaniacs are people who suffer from compulsion to steal things that are not needed and are of little monetary value. And so, these people literally take things.
#15. Etymologist vs. entomologist
People are usually confused between these two terms. Etymology is the study of the meaning of words or texts. Entomology is the branch of zoology related to the study of insects. Hence, an etymologist would know the difference between the two terms.
How many of these jokes did you get? Perhaps it’s time to hit your chemistry books and see if you can come up with any, then tell us in the comment section!