The green-eyed monster that is jealousy can strike any time. From being envious of your friend’s good grades to seething with jealousy due to an acquaintance’s amazing good luck in seemingly every aspect of their life, this intense feeling can consume you if you don’t understand and overcome it.
It may be tough to overcome jealousy, but don’t worry, we’re here for you. Here’s how to put a lid on those feelings and emerge a better, more positive person.
#1. Recognise you have an issue
“I wish I could travel as much as her.”
“He thinks he’s so great because he always gets good marks.”
When you feel the pinpricks of jealousy creep up on you and the negative thoughts start to build up in your head — take a deep breath and don’t let it consume you. Clear your mind and acknowledge you’re only upset or hating on someone because you’re feeling jealous.
Most of the time, your feelings of jealousy may tip a little more on the irrational scale, and you need to be aware of it. Once you’ve jumped over this hurdle, your road to overcoming jealousy will be smoother.
#2. Understand where your jealousy comes from
Recognition of your tangled emotions is one thing, but understanding and getting to the root of the problem is another. Think of the situation that triggered your jealousy, as well as the other emotions and reactions that erupted along with it.
If you were going green with envy after scrolling through a coursemate’s glamorous social media feed showcasing their fun life, try and think about why this affects you. Does it link to a past event where someone quipped on your slightly monotonous lifestyle choices? Perhaps your insecurity over leading a less fancy life instilled that jealousy. This identification and analysis help you see the light in your situation.
#3. Seek support
It’s an uphill task to overcome intense feelings like jealousy, so confide in a trusted friend or family member if it really bothers you.
While you may feel embarrassed to reveal your insecurities and basically bare your soul, warts and all, it’s good to put your troubles into words and have someone listen to you. They can also offer a fresh perspective on things, and you may be able to put your jealousy aside if you realise you are overreacting.
#4. Don’t wallow in it
It’s tempting to brood over things when waves of jealousy engulf you. However, simmering in these negative emotions is unhealthy and hampers your ability to get over it.
The key to not wallowing is to be thankful for what you do have. While you may not be able to travel as much as your favourite influencer who you follow does, there must be other things in your life you’re grateful for. Perhaps it’s a loving family you can count on or a good bunch of friends who are always there for you?
#5. Don’t compare yourself to others
Easier said than done, but the relief and peace that washes over you once you’ve accomplished this is utter bliss. Yes, not comparing yourself to others is a difficult task, but remember that everyone lives different lives and everyone’s paths take them to different places.
Finding fault in yourself and zooming in on other people’s seemingly better traits and lifestyle only lead to bitter emotions, and will only lead to strain on yourself. There will always be people around you who may have it better, but you have your own unique qualities too and you most likely have something that someone else wishes they had!
#6. Spend time with positive people
Moods are highly contagious. If you’re surrounded by a pessimistic person, you may be influenced to be just as negative as they are. Hanging out with negative people who dwell on their problems is not good for your mind, so it’s important to be around positive people who emit good vibes.
Make it a point to spend time with people who are grateful for the little things in life and those who do not get jealous easily. Their positivity will slowly influence you, and soon, others may even seek out your good company.
#7. Learn to celebrate other people’s success
It may take some time to unlearn and relinquish your jealous tendencies, but it is possible. Another way is to slowly ease yourself into it by learning how to celebrate other people’s success. Instead of resenting the fact that someone landed a good opportunity or circumstance, be happy for them or admire them!
Life is no competition, and it’s more enriching to be happy for everyone than to be feeling jealous and angry. Once you begin to experience genuine happiness for other people’s great moments or simply give them credit for what they have achieved, you’ve effectively learnt how to stop jealousy from clouding your mind.
#8. Work on yourself
If you can’t help but feel jealous because you wish you could have someone else’s life, why not do something about it? If you want better grades, work hard to achieve it. If you want to travel more, get a part-time job and save up for your dream vacation.
Remember that you can do or achieve anything you want if you stay determined and work towards your goals — so there’s really no reason to be jealous.
It may seem impossible to get over jealousy because it’s a natural human feeling, but these 8 ways will hopefully help you overcome overwhelming feelings of jealousy and improve your mindset on life. Let us know your thoughts on this in the comments below!